We have spent our adult lives determined not to be defined by our possessions. We have dressed in charity shop bargain finds and always been a few years behind the fashion; we’ve camped and self-catered rather than had luxury holidays; we’ve managed with bicycles and no car and we’ve always lived in housing that is at the cheap end of the scale. I know we now own a pretty new camper van but I don’t feel a need to justify this, it will last us years and doing without a camper van would be like sawing an arm off (… okay I realise I have just justified the owning of the ‘van right there).
At our time of life (in our 50s) we have a bunch of friends who own big houses full of expensive furniture, carry designer handbags and take holidays to exotic far-flung locations, fortunately they are prepared to be friends with such a thrifty couple. When we first down-sized and moved to our small flat in the cheapest end of Salford (and Salford itself is the cheap end of Greater Manchester) we felt too ashamed to invite visitors round; what would they think of our frugal housing choice, how would they judge us? After seven years living in our tiny home we are now more comfortable with the choice we made as it is clear that the decision is paying off and we are near to our goal of financial independence and early retirement. We are mortgage-free, own a small flat that is inexpensive to heat and maintain and live in a development that has good security; useful for a couple who are always away in their camper van.
There are times when our choice is more difficult to deal with than others and particularly when it is our turn to host book group. This involves entertaining and feeding ten people and we do it by squashing them around our dining table using an array of cheap folding chairs. At first we were embarrassed that everyone has to shuffle around when one of the group wants to use the bathroom and that there is only comfy chair space for five, discouraging relaxing and chatting into the night (as we are getting too old to sit on the floor). Now we are just grateful that our very good friends are willing to put up with this discomfort and visit and they don’t complain or judge us.
I am happy that we have lovely friends who accept our decisions, even though they are very different from their own and this helps us to feel comfortable living in the cheap end of town.